WHY DID I GET MARRIED? Tell the Whole Truth

Hello Lovely People,

Trust you had a lovely and fantastic weekend week so far? just thought to share a friends article: The Do & Dons in getting the Right Reasons, Attitude, Expectations before you get married.If you cannot answer the followings questions with a pass mark to yourself; Then you are not ready for the next phase to marriage.

• If you’re not ready to delay gratification when your are angry. To hold your tongue, lower your voice and sometimes wait till the appropriate time, or even day before you can deal with an issue thoroughly…. don’t get married. 

 

 Immaturity is the inability to delay gratification. Marriage is for the mature. 

• If you’re not ready to leave center stage and allow someone else to become your focus, your study, your muses… don’t get married. Selfish people make very bad spouses. In marriage you don’t lose yourself but your heart has to be big enough to gain someone else. And soon, with God’s blessing: little, crying, diaper soiling, demanding little ones are coming!

If you are not ready, to stand up and calmly deal with meddling in laws as a united front: The opinionated sister, the insensitive uncle, the domineering father, the manner less brother, the nosy aunt….. don’t get married. Boundaries do not exist automatically, they must be created. A good spouse is committed to respectfully stand up for and protect their marriage from meddling relatives. Don’t abandon your spouse to your relatives. It’s betrayal.

• If you are not ready to pay bills…. don’t get married. 

Love does not pay bills. BRITISH GAS will not give a waiver because your you're a Citizen or otherwise so romantic. One of the two married together must be working to pay bills in African continent, but in Europe, USA countries both husband and wife must be working in order to have sufficient to spend on themselves, else they'll end up in debts and possibly a broken marriage.

• If you are not ready to let go of your opposite sex “best friends” and invest that into your spouse. To like, to laugh, to play, to be silly and to enjoy life with Him / Her, above anyone else… don’t get married. 

Affairs happen because people did not marry their best friends. Someone else holds their heart. Someone else gets them better. Someone else inspires them more.   

Marry your best friend and cultivate your friendship so that you remain best friends. Herein lies the problem of most CRASHED MARRIAGEs or Relationships: one of the spouse is holding unto past/present boy/girl friend, still chatting away / hanging out with past/present boy/girl friends, spending time talking on phone to past/present boy/girl friend, sending text to past/present  boy/girl friend, STOP RUNNING DOWN your spouse/fiance over any issue in public for the whole world to see each others weakness. 

MOST IMPORTANTLY: 

You should spend time during breaks at work chatting with your spouse through BBM, WhatsApp, spend quality time on phone calls with your one and only Spouse, Enjoy every company with each other,Help him/her to grow up to the level/standard you want them to be (Note:Rome was not built in a day).

Encourage each other emotionally/financially/prayer/Study of Bible/ etc, Be Patient with each other, Stop expecting "HIGH" hopes from each other so as not to be disappointed(expect disappointment or a little sluggishness from each other), Laugh with each other, Engage in outdoor games to keep two of you glued to each other.

• If you are not ready to stop competing with the Jones…. don’t get married. Let the Jones buy their yacht when you are still walking, and enjoy the walk. Your journeys are different. They may have to cross the oceans but you may be going through the road route. A boat might not do you any good on your journey.

 You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there, stop the debt (try savings), 
Lady's Please Learn how to cook every food, Including Men too.
Stop trying to impress people outside that you're best of friends (when you're fighting like Cats and Dogs and keeping Malice with each others at Home). Be  content. To enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by measuring your progress against other people is not wise or healthy, stop wishing your relationship should be like the other couples find out Right Ways / formula's to fix up yours that's not working.

• If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, expose the failures and risk rejection…. don’t get married. It is fraud to have someone sign off their life to you without the full details. The past is a touchy and demanding friend. It always shows up in the marriage. It doesn’t enjoy being ignored and the more you snob, the bolder it becomes and the more tantrums it throws. It will mess up the “neat” and “all together lovely” image that you are struggling to maintain.

• If you are not ready to let go of your philandering ( womanizing/Aristo ) don’t get married. Don’t take somebody’s son or daughter and subject them to your germs, your dirty lifestyle filled with assorted STDs/HIV it all ends in a Big Mess.

It’s romanticized in the movies, it’s being fronted as the only “realistic” way to stay married and keep the fire burning. Tell the Truth, the only thing that the fire will burn will be you, your spouse and your children. That family will burn for generations in bitterness, disease, fear, failure, hatred, broken hearts, broken dreams and conniving.

• Please don't use HIM/HER to change your Status ( from single to married / from stack broke to Famous Rich; don't get married or into that relationship). Because when you are married you will Truly discover whether or not you love that man/woman. its difficult to actually know before you're married! but when you're living together you will actually find out if you truly love the person.

Before you say i do, get to know each other very well.[as in:- love like there is no going back * :-) * ]

• Finally, if you are not ready to let go of the adrenalin rush of a risque life and to settle down…. don’t get married.  Reading a book titled "who discovered America", when the book was found, there was great disappointment about the book . Why? Because it only had 5 words: “This day, we sailed on.”. * mshwww *

Marriage, like life in general, has many “we sail on” days. You have to learn to find the thrill in the normal everydayness of it. If you depend on wild romance, all night sex [baby nothing do you carry go], romantic cruises, wild parties, compulsive moves across continents, tempestuous fights and make up sessions to be happy, you may be disappointed. 

You have to learn to thrill in gentle smiles, loving hugs, knowing looks, beautiful moments, shared chores, cute babies, everyday work, dreaming together, praying together and simply living together. 

If these things are not thrilling, exciting and satisfying, you will look for a way out. The “boom twaff” moments are still there, but they are normally punctuations to the uselessness of living. They cannot be your reason for getting married. They are unsustainable on an everyday basis. The one you choose must be thrilling to you even in the most sadness of moments.

Food 4 Thought:- I pray this helps someone. Remember singles, YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF CHOICE. Never let anyone pressure you into marriage. You are either ready or you’re not: You decide!. 
But please don’t marry somebody and then punish them to live with your childish ways for the rest of their lives  . A childish baby is cute but a childish adult is extremely frustrating.

Marriage is for the mature and in many ways, we the married, are still being confronted with the demand to grow up day by day. If you are not ready for that demand, don’t get married!!!!
Enjoy watching this movie and hope you understand it cos its deeper than you think.

Original Author: Judy Karanja

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